Our Little Lumberjack
by LuvzAfunEthing
Summary: Luke and Lorelai get ready for the stork to pay a visit. Some RoryJess interaction as well. Please RR.


**Disclaimer**: The rights to _Gilmore Girls_, I do not own.  
This tale is pure fantasy that I have sewn.  
I will handle ASP's "kids" with care.  
And promise no scene with Kirk's derriere.  
  
**A/N**: Yes, I chose to leave Luke and Lorelai unmarried after she found out she was pregnant (see my fic **A Fairyless Tale**). I just wanted to mix things up a little. Everybody always writes L/L getting married, then having kids. I wanted to try something different and modern. They will get married eventually, so don't worry. Also, on a side note, there is some Rory/Jess interaction in this. I leave their future up in the air.  
  
Title: **_Our Little Lumberjack_**  
  
_Background info_: In my little fic world, Luke has already proposed to Lorelai (**Good Answer**), and then she found out she was pregnant before they got married (**A Fairyless Tale**). They chose to postpone the wedding until after the baby is born. This story takes place in Early 2006. Lorelai is a few weeks away from having the baby.  
  
GILMORE HOUSE--LORELAI'S BEDROOM--MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT  
  
_Luke is sound asleep as Lorelai lies next to him, wide awake, completely restless, staring at the ceiling.  
_  
Lorelai: (_sighing and then nudging Luke_) Luke....Luke....wake up....wake up...  
  
Luke: (_groggy_) What?  
  
Lorelai: I'm hungry.  
  
Luke: (_turning over to look at her_) What?  
  
Lorelai: I'm hungry.  
  
Luke: (_turning back away from her_) Yeah...well...I'm tired.  
  
Lorelai: (_whining_) Come on Luke...Go make me something...  
  
Luke: (_turning over again_) Are you crazy? It's 2 AM... I'm not cooking anything.  
  
Lorelai: (_rubbing his arm_) Not even for your extremely beautiful, intelligent, and _very_ pregnant fiancé?  
  
Luke: (_sighing_) I love how you manage to compliment yourself and make me feel guilty at the same time.  
  
Lorelai: (_pouting_) I _need_ food....I'm hungry...The baby's hungry.  
  
Luke: The baby isn't hungry.  
  
Lorelai: How do you know?  
  
Luke: Did he tell you he was hungry?  
  
Lorelai: (_patting her stomach_) No...but if he kicks any harder, I'm gonna start to wonder if he has a future with the New York City Rockettes.  
  
Luke: (_giving her a look_) Don't even joke about that.  
  
Lorelai: (_with that pondering look_) Hey, what if our son is gay?  
  
Luke: (_sighing_) He's not gay.  
  
Lorelai: Well, how do you know?  
  
Luke: I know.  
  
Lorelai: But what if he is.  
  
Luke: (_giving up_) Then he is.  
  
Lorelai: (_sitting up_) How would you feel about that?  
  
Luke: (_shaking his head_) What the hell is this-- _Oprah_?  
  
Lorelai: Tell me.  
  
Luke: (_sitting up_) We are _not_ talking about this at two o'clock in the morning.  
  
Lorelai: (_nudging him_) Come on, Luke.  
  
Luke: (_throwing his hands up_) Fine...If he's gay, he's gay....That's the way it is....I wouldn't love him any less.  
  
_Luke starts to lie back down_.  
  
Lorelai: Would you march in a gay pride parade with him?  
  
Luke: _What_?!?  
  
Lorelai: (_repeating_) A gay pride parade.  
  
Luke: (_irritated_) Lorelai...I have to go to sleep...I gotta get up at 4:45.  
  
Lorelai: (_musing_) What if he wanted to cross-dress?  
  
Luke: (_in disbelief_) Oh my God!...You're crazy...Just go to bed.  
  
Lorelai: Luke...Parenting is full of tough stuff...I'm just preparing you, buddy.  
  
Luke: (_lying down on his side and closing his eyes_) Everything will be fine...How the hell did we get on this subject anyway?  
  
Lorelai: This is what happens when you refuse to feed me.  
  
Luke: (_over his shoulder_) You're _that_ hungry?  
  
Lorelai: (_patting her stomach_) If my stomach growls any louder, we're gonna have male tigers in here looking to mate.  
  
Luke: (_sighing_) Fine...I'll go make you something...(_sitting up_) What do ya want?  
  
Lorelai: Fried chicken?  
  
Luke: Do I look like the Colonel to you?  
  
Lorelai: Hmmm...Put on a white suit, and I'll get back to ya.  
  
Luke: (_impatiently_) Come on...  
  
Lorelai: Philly cheese steak?  
  
Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) I'm not driving to Philadelphia.  
  
Lorelai: Why not?...We _do_ need cream cheese...and you could swing by the Liberty Bell.... fix that crack in it...cuz it's really been buggin' me...  
  
Luke: (_giving her a look_) I break bells, not fix them...remember?  
  
Lorelai: Right...okay...Scrambled eggs?  
  
Luke: (_getting up_) _That_ I can do.  
  
Lorelai: (_waving him off_) Well...hop to it, Hun...  
  
Luke: (_standing up and stretching_) Thank God there's only two more weeks of this.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Longer...if the baby is late.  
  
Luke: (_walking out the bedroom door_) He better not be late...The faster another man gets here, the better...There's too much estrogen in my life.

GILMORE HOUSE--LIVING ROOM--NEXT DAY--NOON  
  
_Lorelai is sitting on the couch, rocking back and forth, trying to get up. Rory sees this and seems amused.  
_  
Rory: (_smiling_) Mom, what are you doing?  
  
Lorelai: (_sarcastically_) Demonstrating what transpired before Humpty Dumpty's Great Fall.  
  
Rory: (_laughing_) You can't get up?  
  
Lorelai: Yes I can.  
  
Rory: (_laughing harder_) No you can't.  
  
Lorelai: (_irritated_) Rory...This is not funny.  
  
Rory: (_nodding and smiling_) It kinda is.  
  
Lorelai: (_reaching for Rory_) Come closer so Mommy can strangle you.  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) Sorry......(_helping Lorelai up_)...There...So, um, Grandma called.  
  
Lorelai: (_walking into the kitchen_) And you _didn't_ make me talk to her?...Okay...I love you again...Scratch the strangling part.  
  
Rory: (_hesitantly, leaning against the kitchen counter_) Actually...she's stopping by...  
  
Lorelai: (_gasping and sitting down_) No!  
  
Rory: Yes.  
  
Lorelai: (_motioning towards Rory_) Alright, missy...Bring that neck back over here...Why is she coming here?....And when?...I mean...Do we have time to hide?  
  
Rory: You can't hide anywhere...You're _huge_.  
  
Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Gee...thanks Rory...What every pregnant woman wants to hear...  
  
Rory: (_sitting down at the table_) Sorry...Mom...But it's true...The doctor even told you not to gain anymore weight.  
  
Lorelai: Hey, I'm eating for two here...  
  
Rory: (_shaking her head_) Two what? Sumo wrestlers?  
  
Lorelai: (_hitting Rory's arm_) Hey!!  
  
Rory: Sorry...I'm just getting you back for making me go to Friday night dinner alone.  
  
Lorelai: I was tired...and my legs hurt...  
  
Rory: (_giving her a disapproving look_) When I came home...you were in front of the TV, dancing to that new Janet Jackson video!  
  
Lorelai: (_lying_) I was not.  
  
Rory: Mom!  
  
Lorelai: (_fessing up_) Okay...I was dancing, alright...The song had a good beat...Plus, since she showed her boob on national television, I have a new appreciation for her.  
  
Rory: That was two years ago. Get over it!  
  
Lorelai: (_fascinated_) I can't....I mean...Did she really plan that beforehand?...and _if_ she did...What did she say to Justin?... "Rip my shirt off so I can show all of America my nipple ring ." (_pondering_) Rory---You think I should get a nipple ring ?  
  
Luke: (_walking into the kitchen_) No!....Hello...  
  
_Luke leans down and kisses her cheek_.  
  
Lorelai: (_pouting_) Oh, please...We could get matching ones, Luke...I bet they have some kinda deal...Buy one get one free..  
  
Luke: (_shaking his head, setting a bag of food on the table_) No piercings!  
  
Lorelai: But you already have a tattoo...Oh, get a piercing....You'd be the _coolest _diner owner in town...  
  
Luke: I'm the _only_ diner owner in town.  
  
Lorelai: (_shaking her head_) Not true...there's Al.  
  
Luke: (_giving her a look_) _Al_ is cooler than me?  
  
Lorelai: Honey...the Pope is cooler than you....  
  
Luke: Okay...no food for you.  
  
Lorelai: (_standing up and hugging his arm_) Oh...you know I'm kidding...You're definitely the coolest guy I know....especially when you do that thing with....  
  
Rory and Luke: No!!!!  
  
Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Oh....please...I wasn't gonna say anything _that _dirty...Okay....Rory...How 'bout you and I get the matching nipple rings?  
  
Rory: Sure, Mom...Then we can dye our hair purple...wear safety pins on our clothes...and take turns banging our heads at _Ozzfest_...  
  
Lorelai: Sounds like a plan...Luke, will you go with us to _Ozzfest_?....  
  
Luke: Sure....I'll just throw on my _Black Sabbath_ t-shirt.....paint my fingernails black...shave my head...and pick up some bats to eat while we're there....  
  
Emily: (_appearing in the kitchen doorway_) You're eating bats where?  
  
Lorelai: (_surprised_) Mom!...You're here.  
  
Emily: Well, it appears so.....The front door was wide open.  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) Hi Grandma.  
  
Emily: Hello, Rory...Luke...  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) Hi, Mrs.Gilmore...I mean...Emily...  
  
Emily: (_to Lorelai_) I assumed Rory told you I was coming.  
  
Lorelai: (_looking at Rory_) Yeah, she mentioned something about it.  
  
Emily: Yes...well...I wanted to talk to you about a few things regarding the "postponed" wedding.  
  
Luke: (_gesturing towards the back door_) Well...I should probably get back to the diner...Lunch rush...Nice to see you again, Emily....Lorelai...I'll see you later....Rory....Okay...Bye...  
  
Emily: (_calling after him_) Goodbye, Luke  
  
Lorelai: (_sitting back down_) Yeah...Thanks for the food and the abandonment, Hun...  
  
_Luke shuts the door behind him_.  
  
Rory: Mom...I gotta get over to Lane's....She needs help studying for one of her tests...I'll see you later....Nice to see you Grandma...Bye....  
  
Lorelai: (_calling after Rory_) Bye, Benedict Arnold.  
  
Emily: Goodbye, Rory.  
  
_Rory walks out of the back door, leaving a less-than-thrilled Lorelai alone with Emily.  
  
_Lorelai: (_after a few seconds of silence_) Mom...you know...I have some errands to run and...  
  
Emily: (_shaking her head and sitting at the table_) Oh...no you don't....Rory said you were free today...That's why I decided to stop here on my way to Collette Pennypot's daughter's bridal shower...You remember her daughter...Annette...Such a classy young lady...  
  
Lorelai: Yes...Annette and Collette...How could I forget them?...They wore matching _Chanel_ suits everywhere they went...I heard that Annette got knocked up by her pool man, Maurice....and she roped her fiancé into marrying her by faking the paternity test and telling him that the baby is his....  
  
Emily: (giving her a look) Oh...you heard no such thing...  
  
Lorelai: Oh, right...That's what happened on _The Young and the Restless_ the other day.  
  
Emily: Anyway...I came here to see if there will still be a wedding for me to help plan.  
  
Lorelai: (_sighing_) Of course there's going to be a wedding...Mother...We had this discussion months ago when Luke and I told you that I was pregnant...Although, I can understand how you might be a little fuzzy on what happened then...seeing as though your face looked like a beet, steam was coming out of your ears, and your head was spinning around like a carnival ride...  
  
Emily: (_raising her voice_) Can you blame me?...I just could _not_ understand how you managed to get yourself into the same predicament... yet again....unmarried and pregnant...  
  
Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Mom...it's not the same "predicament."....I was sixteen when I had Rory...I'm in my thirties now...and I'm with Luke...We're a family...  
  
Emily: Couldn't you have at least waited until after the wedding?...For God's sakes Lorelai...You know how difficult this has been...explaining the eccentricities of your life to my friends...  
  
Lorelai: (_angry_) You don't have to explain _anything_ to them...It's none of their business...If they're gonna look down on us because of this, then they're not the kind of people I wanna to be around anyway...and you shouldn't want to either...  
  
Emily: That's so easy for you to say...You don't have to face them at every social event....  
  
Lorelai: Then don't go to all those events.  
  
Emily: Are you _insane_?...I have to....How else will I manage to uphold my reputation in our community?  
  
Lorelai: You know what...I guess I am insane...I just thought that after everything that you and Dad went through... with the separation and reconciliation... that you were gonna turn over a new leaf and start living life for yourself...not to make everyone in your social circle happy...  
  
Emily: Don't bring my marriage into this....Marriage...You have no idea what that means...You are _pregnant_ and still too stubborn to get married...  
  
Lorelai: (_gesturing wildly_) _That_ is not why Luke and I aren't married yet...Mom...I don't wanna fight about this....So...Listen to me....Luke and I are happy....I know that he isn't the guy that you would have chosen for me to end up with...but he's who I want...I love him...I need him in my life....Do you know how hard that was for me to finally admit?...Needing someone...needing a partner...a man...But, I do...I need him...and I want to spend the rest of my life with him....We're gonna have this baby...Be the best parents ever...and then...When I have returned to my normal, pre-gluttony weight, I will wear that damn _Vera Wang_ dress that you picked out...and I will walk down the aisle with Luke...and I will be married once and for all...and you'll be happy....because that's the only thing that you've ever wanted for me...to be married....  
  
Emily: (_curiously_) The _Vera Wang_?  
  
Lorelai: (_confused_) What?  
  
Emily: You're going to wear the _Vera Wang_ gown on your wedding day?..The gown I picked out?  
  
Lorelai: (_nodding_) Yes...I..uh...I like that one...but that's not what this is about...This is---  
  
Emily: I know...This is about you finally being serious concerning a man...and your happiness with him...  
  
Lorelai: (_surprised_) Well, yeah I--  
  
Emily: Contrary to what you might think, I like Luke... He's kind...mature...a provider...a hard-worker....He's a good man....and he will make a good husband....and a good father...  
  
Lorelai: (_even more surprised_) Wow, I didn't know you felt that way...  
  
Emily: (_rolling her eyes_) Well, you never pay attention to what I say...  
  
Lorelai: Yes I do...What about the dress?...  
  
Emily: (_half-smiling_) Ahh...yes...the dress...Well...It _is_ fabulous...You would have to be an idiot not to think so....  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Yeah, I guess...  
  
Emily: So, does this mean I can start planning the wedding again?  
  
Lorelai: (_rolling her eyes_) Yes...but please remember that this is _our_ wedding day...not _yours_.  
  
Emily: Alright, Fine....So, how are you feeling?....You look like you've gained even more weight.  
  
Lorelai: (_sighing_) Yeah...I packed on another ton after the marshmallow and chocolate binge the other night...  
  
Emily: (_smiling_) Have you settled on a name yet?  
  
Lorelai: No...Still up in the air about that.  
  
Emily: Can I suggest Percy?...It was your great uncle's name.  
  
Lorelai: _Percy_?...Mom...Do you _want_ your grandchild to have his lunch money stolen everyday from his pocket protector?  
  
Emily: Percy is a very respectable name.  
  
Lorelai: (_nodding_) Yeah...for a pig...  
  
Emily: I suppose it is a little uncommon...  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Yeah...just a little...  
  
Emily: Well, you need a name soon....My grandson cannot be nameless...Oh...and Lorelai....Marriage isn't the only thing that I ever wanted for you...I just...I want you to be happy....  
  
Lorelai: (_nodding_) I know, Mom....and I _am_.  
  
_Emily smiles at Lorelai as Lorelai places her hand on top of her mother's.  
  
_

MIDDLE OF STARS HOLLOW--AFTERNOON  
  
_Rory and Lorelai are walking through the town, carrying shopping bags. Well, Rory is walking and Lorelai is doing something that would be construed by some as waddling.  
  
_Lorelai: (_stopping abruptly_) Wait...We need to stop.  
  
Rory: (_sighing_) You have to pee _again_?!?  
  
Lorelai: You would _too_ if a watermelon was squishing your bladder.  
  
Rory: (_grossed out_) I'm never eating watermelon again. Just wait until we get to Luke's.  
  
Lorelai: (_whining_) I don't think I can make it there. I'm too tired.  
  
Rory: We've walked _twenty feet_. You were sitting for fifteen minutes before that!  
  
_Lorelai and Rory start walking again_.  
  
Lorelai: (_rubbing her stomach_) Hey, I'm ready to pop here....A little more sympathy...Anyway...You should feel guilty....This is all _your_ fault.  
  
Rory: Mom, I was no where near the bedroom when little Luke Jr. was conceived.--_Thank God.  
_  
Lorelai: (_mischieviously_) Who said it happened in the bedroom?  
  
Rory: (_covering her ears_) Oh my God...La la la la...not listening...  
  
Lorelai: (_pulling Rory's hands off her ears_) I just meant that this is your fault because you turned out to be a great kid--thus making me want to have another....Why couldn't you have been a slacker, a druggie, a stripper?...Then my ankles wouldn't look like Redwoods.  
  
Rory: (_shaking her head_) Your ankles aren't fat.  
  
Lorelai: Please...I'm retaining more water than the _Hoover Dam_...Gah...now I have to pee even more...  
  
Rory: (_gesturing towards the door_) Here...we're at Luke's.  
  
Lorelai: Thank God....I thought I was gonna have to lift my leg on a fire hydrant.  
  
Rory: (_opening the door_) Oh, Taylor would love that.  
  
_Lorelai and Rory walk inside. Lorelai starts rushing towards the stairs_.  
  
Lorelai: Everybody outta my way.  
  
Luke: Lorel--  
  
Lorelai: No time to talk, Luke.  
  
_Lorelai runs upstairs, leaving Luke confused.  
  
_Luke: (_to Rory_) What was that about?  
  
Rory: (_sitting at the counter_) Bathroom visit.  
  
Luke: (_shaking his head_) I don't know why she even leaves the bathroom...She should just take up residence there until the baby comes.  
  
Rory: Tell me about it....I _tried_ to take a shower five times this morning.  
  
Luke: (_brow furrowed_) What do you mean "tried"?  
  
Rory: Every time I went in there and turned on the water, she knocked at the door...She said the sound made her have to go...So, not only will our water bill be excessively high, but I'm gonna start to smell....and she will be solely responsible for the Toilet Paper Shortage of 2006.  
  
Luke: (_leaning in_) She woke me up last night to make her scrambled eggs.  
  
Rory: _Again_?!?  
  
Luke: She also gave me the "What if our son is gay?" talk..  
  
Rory: (_shocked_) _You too_?!? Why is she so obsessed with that?  
  
Luke: Combination of things, I think...She still can't believe she's having a boy, mixed with her coffee deprivation, and the fact that she watches reruns of _Will & Grace_ practically every day.  
  
Rory: I still can't believe that you got her to quit drinking coffee.  
  
Luke: She lost the bet fair and square.  
  
Rory: She was _so_ sure she was bringing another "Lorelai" into this world....She had a "feeling."  
  
Luke: I know...She was so confident....But...(_smiling_).....The _look_ on her face when she had the sonogram...  
  
Rory: ...and the doctor said she saw some "extra equipment."  
  
Luke: ...and your Mom kept saying... "No...That's my spleen....That's my pancreas..."  
  
Rory: ...and the doctor said, "I'm afraid not."  
  
Luke: ...and _I_ said, "Pay up!"  
  
Rory: Thus--No coffee for months now...I can't believe she hasn't caved and had a cup.  
  
Luke: Unbelievable, I know...I caught her once crying during a _Folgers_ commercial...Then there was that time she called me Juan Valdez when she was half asleep.  
  
Rory: How 'bout the day she stood in the coffee section of Doose's Market for a half an hour, talking to the coffee cans...  
  
Luke: Not as bad as when she made me stop outside _Starbucks_ so that she could press her face against the window.  
  
Rory: (_after a few moments of silence_) I can't believe I'm gonna have a brother...I'll be like two decades older than him.  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) You'll be a great sister.  
  
Rory: Thanks...You worried about being a dad?  
  
Luke: A little...But, your Mom is a seasoned veteran at parenting...She'll help me out.  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) That's true...But, when she tells you that reading _Cosmo_ to the baby is an acceptable alternative to _Green Eggs and Ham_...Don't listen...  
  
Luke: She read _Cosmo_ to you?  
  
Rory: I knew about combination skin and not to wear pantyhose darker than your shoes, by the time I was three.  
  
_Lorelai suddenly appears and joins into the conversation_.  
  
Lorelai: (_patting Rory on the arm_) Yes, you were the most fashion savvy child in your preschool...(_to Luke_).... I'm hungry.  
  
Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) You're _always_ hungry.  
  
Lorelai: (_sitting down at the counter_) Make me food.  
  
Luke: You just ate two hours ago.  
  
Lorelai: (_waving him off_) Let's not start this again...You _know_ what happens when you don't feed me...  
  
Luke: There's no longer a world food shortage?  
  
Lorelai: Ha!...I ask crazy questions...Like, what if....  
  
Luke: (_interrupting_) I'll get you a burger and fries.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Yum!  
  
_Luke walks away from the counter for a minute_.  
  
Lorelai: (_to Rory as she sifts through the bags_) I think we should buy Luke Jr. some more plaid.  
  
Rory: You already bought him two little flannels.  
  
Lorelai: (_holding the shirts up_) They're so cute...I can't wait til Luke sees them...  
  
_Luke appears again with a cup of tea_.  
  
Luke: Sees what?...(_notices the shirts_)...You _didn't_.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Oh, But I did.  
  
Luke: (_nervously_) Those clothes are so _small_...He's gonna be _that_ small?  
  
Lorelai: What do ya think, I'm squeezing out a full grown seven-year-old here?  
  
Luke: (_worried_) What if I break him?  
  
Lorelai: (_touching Luke's arm_) You won't break him....Look at this hat...  
  
_Lorelai shows Luke a little blue baseball cap she got for the baby.  
  
_Rory: Aww...baby backwards baseball cap...  
  
Lorelai: (_excited_) He'll be _our little lumberjack_...Oh my gosh...We need to get him a little tool belt....Oooo hey...Do you think they sell itsy bitsy green army jackets for babies?  
  
Rory: And little gloves with the fingers cut off?  
  
Luke: This is getting sick.  
  
Lorelai: Luke, you'll have your own little Mini-me....just like I do.  
  
_Luke pushes the cup of tea in front of Lorelai.  
  
_Luke: Here...drink some tea.  
  
Lorelai: (_drinking_) Ow....  
  
Luke: It's hot...Be careful.  
  
Lorelai: (_sarcastically, before blowing on the tea and taking another drink_) Thanks for the heads-up, champ....Oww...  
  
Luke: Well...wait till it cools down.  
  
Lorelai: (_shaking her head, putting down the cup_) No...not that "Ow"--Another "Ow"  
  
Rory: What "Ow?"  
  
Lorelai: (_gesturing towards her stomach_) This "Ow."  
  
Luke: (_eyes widening_) _That_ "Ow."  
  
Lorelai: (_nodding_) _That_ "Ow."  
  
Luke: Uh..Wow.  
  
Rory: Yeah..Wow.  
  
Lorelai: (_concerned_) We need to get to the hospital.  
  
Rory: (_standing up_) Wait a second...We have to time the contractions...You could be in labor for hours.  
  
Lorelai: (_sheepishly_) I think I have been in labor for hours.  
  
Luke: (_confused_) What do you mean?  
  
Lorelai: Well, I thought I had a backache...But it's been getting worse and worse...  
  
Rory: Mom, why didn't you say anything?  
  
Lorelai: (_sighing_) It wasn't that bad at first...Plus, I didn't have back labor with you.  
  
Rory: How do you even remember? That was over twenty years ago.  
  
Lorelai: (_holding her belly and standing up_) If there's one thing you remember, it's feeling like the creature from _Alien_ is about to burst through your gut.  
  
Luke: (_walking around the counter_) Stop talking. Let's just get to the hospital.  
  
Lorelai: (_holding onto his arm_) Good plan.  
  
Luke: (_stopping_) Wait...We can't take my truck.  
  
Lorelai: Why not?  
  
Luke: It's at Gypsy's, getting inspected.  
  
Rory: Well, our cars are at home.  
  
Luke: (_realizing something_) Jess's car!  
  
Lorelai and Rory: Jess?  
  
Luke: He came last night...Did I _not _mention that?  
  
Lorelai and Rory: No!  
  
Luke: He's just visiting...He was trying to avoid everyone...It's not a big deal....He's unloading boxes in the storeroom......(_yelling towards the storeroom_)......Jess...Get out here...  
  
Lorelai: (_to Rory_) You okay with this, Hun?  
  
Rory: Mom, I'm fine...You're the one in labor.  
  
Lorelai: I mean...about Jess.  
  
Rory: Don't worry about it.  
  
_Jess comes walking into the room_.  
  
Jess: What's up?  
  
Luke: Lorelai's in labor.  
  
Jess: Whoa.  
  
Rory: They need to use your car.  
  
Jess: Whoa.  
  
Luke: (_to Lorelai_) I don't understand this...The baby's too early...  
  
Lorelai: (_irritated_) Well, you argue with him about that as he's hurdling out of my--  
  
Jess: (_gesturing wildly_) Whoa!...Stop!...Just take the car.  
  
Rory: But Mom needs her stuff.  
  
Luke: (_pointing to Rory_) Rory, go get her things and drive your car to the hospital.  
  
Lorelai: No...Your toolbox is on top of my suitcase, remember?...You put it there when I was packing, to weigh it down...to make the lid shut.  
  
Rory: (_in disbelief_) You packed a _suitcase_? You're only gonna be in the hospital for two days.  
  
Lorelai: Hey...a lady has to be prepared for anything...You can't lift that toolbox, Rory.  
  
Rory: Oh, that's right.  
  
Luke: (_pointing to Jess_.) Jess, you go help her.  
  
Jess: What?  
  
Luke: Just do it.  
  
Jess: (_sighing_) Alright.  
  
Lorelai: (_concerned_) Rory?  
  
Rory: (_waving it off_) It's okay...I'll see you at the hospital....Let's go, Jess.  
  
INTERIOR OF JESS'S CAR  
  
_Luke is driving while Lorelai shifts around in pain_.  
  
Luke: (_worried_) You okay?  
  
Lorelai: (_half-smiling_) Yeah...No head yet, but I'm keeping my legs really close together so he doesn't fall out.  
  
Luke: _Lorelai_.  
  
Lorelai: I'm fine...Just in...you know..lotsa pain...Doesn't this car go any faster?  
  
Luke: (_ranting_) It's old...it's junk...I mean, without actually _carbon-dating_ it, I'm guessing it was around when _dinosaurs_ roamed the Earth....How far apart are the contractions?  
  
Lorelai: (_looking at him_) I thought _you_ were timing them.  
  
Luke: I'm driving...Aren't you keeping track?  
  
Lorelai: (_irritated_) I'm in labor, and you're giving me _another_ job!...Would you like me to clean the rain gutters?...How 'bout I work on that world peace thing too?  
  
Luke: Sorry...  
  
Lorelai: (_digging her fingernails into the seat_) Ow..Ow..Ow  
  
Luke: (_patting her arm_) It's okay...We'll be there soon.

INTERIOR OF RORY'S CAR  
  
_Jess is driving while Rory sits in the passenger seat with her arms crossed on her chest.  
  
_Rory: (_angry_) Why are _you _driving? This is _my_ car!..And why are you going to the hospital, anyway?...You don't care...  
  
Jess: First of all...You're too stressed to drive...You're not thinking straight.  
  
Rory: Yes I am.  
  
Jess: While we were at your house, you almost brushed your teeth with _Neosporin_!  
  
Rory: The toothpaste was right next to it...I grabbed the wrong tube.  
  
Jess: (_rolling his eyes_) Yeah...whatever.  
  
Rory: (_turning towards him_) Why are you in town?  
  
Jess: I came here to see Luke.  
  
Rory: (_scoffs_) Since when do you care about Luke?  
  
Jess: (_angry_) Look, you don't know me anymore, so don't think that you do.  
  
Rory: (_confused_) I don't know you anymore...What does that mean?  
  
Jess: Just forget about it...Pretend I'm your chauffeur...Don't talk to me.  
  
Rory: Fine by me.

HOSPITAL ROOM  
  
_Lorelai is sitting up in bed, while Luke sits next to the bed in a chair.  
  
_Lorelai: (_shifting around in her bed_) Dammit...Ouch...  
  
Luke: Another one, huh?  
  
Lorelai: Yep, Sherlock.  
  
Luke: ( _holding her hand_) Look, you're doing great...Just try to focus on your breathing...  
  
Lorelai: (_whining_) I gotta _breathe_, too?  
  
Luke: Come on...It'll help.  
  
Lorelai: (_agitated_) Oh, that Lamaze stuff is crap...Some man probably invented it...Yeah, like I can concentrate on breathing while the Battle of Gettysburg is being re-enacted in my _uterus_.  
  
Luke: (_shaking his head, with a worried expression on his face_) I can't believe we're having a baby...This is kinda scary...  
  
Lorelai: (_breathing heavily_) Wait till the part where my head spins, and I spit pea soup..  
  
Luke: No...I mean...I'm gonna be a father...  
  
Lorelai: (_looking in his eyes_) Oh please don't freak out and run off with your secretary.  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) I don't have a secretary.  
  
Lorelai: Well...then Caesar..  
  
Luke: (_tucking Lorelai's hair behind her ear_) Not gonna happen.  
  
Lorelai: (_trying to smile_) Good...cuz me and the little guy need you...  
  
Luke: (_nodding_) I know...I'm here...  
  
Lorelai: (_grabbing his hand_) Good...I like you here...(_squeezing Luke's hand really hard_) ......OwOwOw...  
  
Luke: (_in pain_) Owww

HOSPITAL HALLWAY  
  
_Rory and Jess are wandering down the hospital hall. They seem lost.  
  
_Rory: (_stopping_) Well, she's in Room 412....How can there be no sign for 412?....It goes from 400-411 and then 413-435.... Is 412 an invisible room?...This is so weird.  
  
Jess: (_shrugging_) Twilight Zone.  
  
Rory: (_agitated_) Go home.  
  
Jess: (_pointing towards himself_) I have every right to be here.  
  
Rory: (_angry_) You don't even care...You're just here to get on my nerves.  
  
Jess: He's _my_ uncle....That kid is my family too...  
  
Rory: (_scoffs_) Family?...Since when do you care about your family...Since when do you care about anybody but yourself.  
  
Jess: (_with meaning_) I care about Luke.  
  
Rory: (_rolling her eyes_) Yeah right.  
  
Jess: I do...He helped me...I was a real jerk to him, but he still helped me...I appreciate it now...I know how much he did for me...So, I'm trying to do something for him...by being here.  
  
Rory: (_taken aback_) Uh, wow, Jess, I—  
  
_Lorelai's voice is heard off-screen. It appears as though Rory and Jess were near the room and didn't even know it. What a co-inky-dink!  
_  
Lorelai: (OS) Rory?  
  
Rory: (_walking into the room_) Mom, hi...We couldn't find you.  
  
Lorelai: (_confused_) We?  
  
Rory: Yeah...Jess is here...I guess he's in the hall.  
  
Lorelai: Oh...bring him in here...I can break _his_ hand too.  
  
Rory: (_to Luke_) She _broke_ your hand?!?  
  
_Luke raises his bandaged hand to show Rory_.  
  
Luke: Nah...just bruised it...I'm gonna go see Jess.  
  
_Luke leaves the room.  
  
_Rory: (_grabbing Lorelai's hand_) How you doin'?  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) I'm okay...They just gave me an epidural...So, I'm feeling...well...nothing.  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) How long before the baby comes?  
  
Lorelai: Still a little while yet...Hey, can you call Grandma and Sookie...and tell them we're here...Then, why don't you and Rocky Balboa Jr. go get something to eat.  
  
Rory: (_nodding_) Sure...I'll make the calls...but...hanging out with Jess...It's just kinda weird...  
  
Lorelai: (_nodding_) Yeah...Why is he here, anyway?  
  
Rory: Get this...He says he cares..  
  
Lorelai: About what?  
  
Rory: About Luke...the baby...family...  
  
Lorelai: (_in disbelief_) Get out!  
  
Rory: I'm serious.  
  
Lorelai: (_raising her eyebrow_) Think it's a line to get into your pants?  
  
Rory: Eww, Mom!  
  
Lorelai: (_rubbing Rory's arm_) You know, Hun, Luke says that Jess has changed a lot.  
  
Rory: (_looking away_) I dunno.  
  
Lorelai: Well, who knows?...But, you two could talk about things...It's been awhile since everything happened.  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) Those drugs must really have you high as a kite.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Maybe...But, you two need to have some sort of closure...Maybe even be friends...I mean...it's strange...but you will be family...sort of...  
  
Rory: I'll think about it.  
  
Lorelai: (_nodding_) Okay...Go get Luke...Tell him it's almost "pea soup spitting time"...

HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM  
  
_Jess is sitting in a chair, looking at a magazine. Rory walks in and sits down next to him.  
  
_Rory: Hey.  
  
Jess: Hey.  
  
Rory: (_apologetically_) Look, I'm sorry about saying that you don't care...Maybe you do...I guess I really don't know you anymore.  
  
Jess: (_shrugging_) I dunno...I haven't completely changed...It's not like I'm gonna be quoting Dr. Phil and watching _Steel Magnolias_ anytime soon .  
  
Rory: (_nodding_) I do believe that you care about Luke though.  
  
Jess: Yeah...well...He did a lot for me...I don't know why...  
  
Rory: (_half-smiling_) Because you're his family...and because Luke is a good guy.  
  
Jess: Yeah...I guess.  
  
Rory: You wanna go get some coffee?  
  
Jess: (_nodding_) Alright.

DELIVERY ROOM—SOME TIME LATER  
  
_Lorelai is prepped for delivery. Luke sits next to her bed.  
  
_Doctor: Okay, Lorelai...It's almost time to push.  
  
Lorelai: (_turning to Luke, worried_) Luke, I'm scared.  
  
Luke: You've done this before.  
  
Lorelai: (_concerned_) What if I forgot how?  
  
Luke: To push?....You just—  
  
Lorelai: No...I mean...to raise a little kid.  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) You _haven't_.  
  
Lorelai: (_a little freaked out_) But...You and me and a baby...It's kinda scary.  
  
Luke: You're not gonna run off with your secretary, are you?  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) No...maybe Michel.  
  
Luke: (_rubbing her forehead with his thumb_) Come on...Everything will be fine.  
  
Lorelai: (_sighing_) Alright, Doc...Let's make a baby come outta me!  
  
Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) Ah Geez.

HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM  
  
_Jess is pacing while Rory sits and eats a bag of Skittles.  
  
_Jess: What's taking so long?...They've been in there forever.  
  
Rory: She's delivering a baby...not a _pizza_...It's a long process...Believe me...She made me watch a birth video.  
  
Jess: (_grossed out_) No way!...And you actually kept your eyes open through the whole thing?  
  
Rory: (_rolling her eyes_) Unfortunately, yes...I've decided that I'm going to adopt.  
  
Jess: (_sitting down, picking up a cup of coffee_) Yeah...Geez, this coffee sucks.  
  
Rory: Yep...Not as good as Luke's....Hey...um...I wanna say I'm sorry about how everything ended last time we...uh...you know?  
  
Jess: (_surprised_) It's alright...I don't wanna talk about it.  
  
Rory: (_nodding_) Okay...But, I'm sorry if I hurt you.  
  
Jess: (_looking at her_) Well...I guess it was stupid of me to think that you would just leave everything and run away with me...I shouldn't have asked.  
  
Rory: (_looking back at him_) You were doing what you felt was right.  
  
Jess: (_looking away_) It was a mistake though.  
  
Rory: (_putting her hand on his arm_) Listen, Jess...We all make mistakes, do stupid things, when we love someone...or _think _we love someone. Believe me...I know.  
  
Jess: (_looking at her_) I did love you.  
  
Rory: (_looking down_) I know.  
  
Jess: (_looking away_) I..uh...I still do love you...I guess I always will.  
  
Rory: (_smiling_) Yeah...me too...Look maybe this is too "out there" but I'd like to try to be friends...Maybe it's not possible...I dunno.  
  
Jess: (_half-smiling_) It's possible.  
  
Rory: (_nodding_) Okay...good.  
  
Jess: (_sitting back_) Of course...you know...We could never be "just friends." What I mean is... A guy and a girl can never be _just friends_...The sex part _always_ gets in the way.  
  
Rory: (_shaking her head_) Oh, Harry...You're hilarious.  
  
Jess: (_nodding_) Thanks, Sally...You're not so bad yourself.

LORELAI'S HOSPITAL ROOM  
  
_Lorelai is lying in bed, holding the baby. Luke sits next to the bed, smiling, looking at both of them.  
_  
Lorelai: (_cooing at the baby_) Oh my gosh...You're so beautiful...  
  
Luke: (_looking at the baby_) Yeah...I guess when a guy is this small, you can get away with calling him beautiful...(_to Lorelai_) You okay?  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Yeah.  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) You did great.  
  
Lorelai: Thanks...It's not like I had a choice...I mean he was gonna come out no matter what.  
  
Luke: (_sighing_) You know what I mean.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Yeah...Did you talk to my Mom?...  
  
Luke: (_sighing_) Yes...She and your father will be visiting tomorrow morning...She's bringing a photographer with her, but at least I talked her out of hiring a videographer...She was gonna call that guy she used for your graduation...And Sookie can't stop by because Davey's sick...but she said she'll swing by the house when we take you two home...(_touching the baby's hand_).. Geez...He's so small...I can't believe I have a son...I can't believe I'm dad...I can't believe this is really happening.  
  
Lorelai: Well...it will be pretty believable the first time he throws up formula all over your favorite flannel...Or when he wakes you up at 2 AM, needing to be fed.  
  
Luke: (_rolling his eyes_) Just like his mother...the feeding part...I mean...not the throwing up.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Look at him..He's perfect...God, I remember how good this feels...To hold a baby...To hold my baby...Our baby...(_looking into Luke's eyes and whispering_).....We have a baby.  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) I know.  
  
Lorelai: You wanna hold him?  
  
Luke: (_pulls back_) I...uh...  
  
Lorelai: (_shaking her head_) Oh, Luke...You'll be fine...Here.  
  
_Lorelai hands Luke the baby. Luke sits there with the baby in his arms while Lorelai watches them.  
_  
Luke: (_looking at Lorelai_) He's so light.  
  
Lorelai: (_sarcastically_) Yeah...We'll have to put lead weights in his diaper to keep him from blowing away.  
  
Luke: Not funny.  
  
Lorelai: (_sighing_) They can't all be gems....(_smiling_) You look like a pro...Holding him...I love you.  
  
Luke: (_looking at her_) I love you, too....and it's so weird, but I love him...and I just met him.  
  
Lorelai: (_quietly_) Tell me about it.  
  
Luke: So, what about his name?  
  
Lorelai: Luke Jr.?  
  
Luke: (_shaking his head_) No Luke Jr.  
  
Lorelai: Aww..why not?  
  
Luke: (_giving her a look_) Unlike some people, I really don't wanna name a kid after myself.  
  
Lorelai: (_whining_) But...I like Luke.  
  
Luke: (_smiling_) And Luke likes you...But that's not gonna be his name.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Lorelai?  
  
Luke: (_looking at the baby_) We're gonna pretend like you didn't say that.  
  
Lorelai: (_throwing her hands up_) Well...I'm fresh out of ideas.  
  
Luke: There are _thousands_ of names.  
  
Lorelai: Yeah, really?...Okay...you pick.  
  
Luke: Hmm...I dunno.  
  
Lorelai: (_nudging his shoulder_) See, it's not that easy...Oooo hey....how about "Flannel?"  
  
Luke: You're crazy.  
  
Lorelai: Hey...Michael Jackson named his son "Blanket."  
  
Luke: (_in disbelief_) Michael Jackson?....We are never doing _anything_ that Michael Jackson does.  
  
Lorelai: I dunno...I always wanted to try the one-sparkly glove look.  
  
Luke: He needs a name.  
  
Lorelai: (_pondering_) Hmm...Okay...I know...How about William?...after your Dad...We can call him "Will"?  
  
Luke: (_half-smiling_) Really? You like William?  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Yeah...I love it.  
  
Luke: Okay...me too...(_to Will_) Hey, Will...I'm your Dad...That crazy lady is your Mom...  
  
_Just then Rory walks into the room.  
  
_Rory: (_smiling_) Aww...Can I see him?  
  
Luke: And that is your sister, Rory...Here... You can hold him...(_gives Rory the baby_) .....Where's Jess?  
  
Rory: (_holding Will_) He went to put quarters in the parking meter... Oh my God...He's so tiny...So cute...What's his name?  
  
Lorelai: William.  
  
Rory: Aww...That's perfect...and...(_eyes widening_) Oh...Mom...That's the same name as a character from one of your all-time favorite movies.  
  
Lorelai: (_curiously_) What?  
  
Rory: Willy Wonka.  
  
Lorelai: (_eyes widening_) Oh my God.  
  
Luke: (_sighing, rolling his eyes_) Thanks, Rory...You _know_ she's gonna call him that now.  
  
Lorelai: (_excited_) Yes!!!!...Let me see my little Willy Wonka.  
  
Luke: (_talking to Will as Rory passes him to Lorelai_) I'm sorry, kid...I thought you'd have a few years before the torturing began.  
  
Lorelai: (_holding Will, cooing_) Mommy's Little Willy Wonka.  
  
Luke: (_shaking his head_) You're nuts.  
  
Lorelai: (_looking at Luke_) Yes...But that's why you fell in love with me...Well, that plus I _am _super hot and smart...  
  
Luke: And don't forget modest..._That_ too.  
  
Lorelai: (_making a strange face_) I think Willy needs to be changed...Unless that smell is coming from you, Rory...I know you didn't shower today.  
  
Rory: Mom!  
  
Luke: See, Will...No one is safe from the torture...  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) Nope...Okay, Luke...Change him.  
  
Luke: What?  
  
Lorelai: Change Will.  
  
Luke: _Me_?  
  
Lorelai: No...the Luke Skywalker behind you with the big light saber...Hey...Dirty.  
  
Luke: (_unsure_) But...I...  
  
Lorelai: Come on, Luke...You need practice.  
  
Luke: (_giving in, of course_) Fine...okay...But this is the only one.  
  
_Luke takes Will from her and lays him down.  
  
_Lorelai: (_to Rory_) Yeah...One of one million.  
  
Rory: (_watching Luke start to open the diaper_) Poor Luke.  
  
Lorelai: (_amused_) Oh, this is priceless.  
  
Luke: (_opening the diaper_) Ah Geez.  
  
Lorelai: (_looking around_) Alright...Where's the camera?...Luke changing a diaper...That's right up there with pictures of Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster...This must be documented...  
  
Luke: (_giving her a look_) We don't neeed a picture of this.  
  
Lorelai: (_smiling_) You're right...I'm thinking a water color painting...Maybe oil on canvas...Rory...Whip out that sketch pad...  
  
Fade to black...The End...


End file.
